April 15, 2022

How It Started

I didn’t begin my life as a leader!
I’m the youngest of 4 kids and the only girl.  There was a lot of following being done by yours truly.  I just went along with what everyone else was doing.  My brothers played cops and robbers, so I played cops and robbers.  My brothers watched Heman, so I watched Heman.   I was the “little sister”.   Just tagging along with what everyone else was doing.  Going to the soccer games, baseball games, along for the ride wherever we went.  I didn't cause trouble…  I didn’t even SAY much.  In fact my mom will tell the story about when she was asked, “Does she talk?”  No one would’ve pointed me out and said, “Now THAT’S a leader!”  I was not getting the solos in the kids choir.  Heck!  I wouldn’t even dream of auditioning for one, that’d be my worst nightmare!  I think you get the point.  In high school I was so incredibly terrified of even taking speech class, that I put it off until my very last semester (which is ironic because a year and a half later I chose “Communication and Preaching” as my minor in college.)  This wallflower, was what you would call a late bloomer in the garden of self-confidence. 
Well something happens when you give God free reign in your life.  Something really REALLY good happens.  If you’d told me when in high school, all that would happen in the next 10 years, I would’ve had a hard time believing you.  However, I will say, I had some absolutely incredible people speaking truth over my life.  I also had praying parents, and a youth pastor who saw something more in this “shy” young girl.  I’d taken piano lessons for years, was in band (playing the flute) and choir.  I just liked music, but never wanted to be out in front.  The limelight was not my goal.  Like I said, that thought just terrified me.  But when I was about 15, and on a summer mission trip to Tijuanna, Mexico, God spoke something to my heart.  He said he was going to use me, and specifically use my voice.  WOAH.   “Uh, God… do you remember who you’re talking to here?”  I doubted it so much!  But that would’ve NEVER been a thought of my own.  So it must be God.   I believed it, but oh how I fought it.  About a month later back home, my youth pastor called me into his office and said, “We need someone to step up and lead worship… and I think it’s you.”  I think I probably said something like…  “are you sure?”  or “I don't know if I can do that.”   I don’t remember how that meeting ended, but somehow I was coaxed into showing up at the next practice as the LEADER, having songs prepared and giving direction to the band.  And somewhere in there I remembered, “oh yeah, God spoke to me about that on that mission trip.”